So, what are you doing for Thanksgiving? Coming Out...oops, I mean coming home? And those other winter holidays are just around the corner. Are they filled with fun for you...or angst, madness, conflict, STRESS!
Seems for many reasons, as lesbian, gay, bi, and transgendered folks, we often feel more than just the peace and joy of the season. Is your significant other welcomed in your family of origin? Are you at your partner’s? Do you get any of those questions, like, “When are you getting married?” Perhaps it is the sheer amount of honesty about your life that gets hidden that provides the extra stress in a time already filled with hectic schedules and heightened expectations.
Collectively, we at LGBT Counseling have
been through a few holiday experiences ourselves, and
it is in the spirit of thanksgiving for the LGBT Community
that we offer the following survival tips:
- If you are planning a big disclosure this year (“Guess what? We are NOT just roommates!”), give yourself the gift of advance planning. Would another time be better? Sometimes it is better to have this discussion during a more neutral time of the year. Consider the worst and the best that could happen. Talk it through beforehand. Line up resources, for you and your family. Let your friends and chosen family know what your plans are, so they can better support you through any distress.
- Plan on having phone or e-mail contact with friends here, if you are traveling to see your family of origin. This might be the trip to have contact with work, if that helps keep you grounded in who you are now.
- When visiting family, take something with you that represents a piece of life here. It could be music, a favorite book, photos, or a small object you can carry in your pocket. Notice that little connection often.
- Please consider your own desires in your holiday planning. If we don’t take really good care of ourselves first, we won’t have enough to give to those we truly love.
Finally, let us all remember to support one another in this holiday season. A little compassion, patience, and understanding can go a long way in increasing the sense of psychological home and family we strive to create in our community. And wherever we may go, it is vital that we know we can still be home with ourselves for the holidays.
