It is disheartening to encounter strong, beautiful and talented gay, lesbian, bisexual, and trangendered people who are unable to look themselves in the eye and see their own self worth. What they see is often what they have been conditioned to see by a culture that devalues their sexual identities and diminishes their personhood. Out of such social and emotional conditioning emanate men and women whose self esteem is so bruised that they are unable to see their own true value and self worth. Needless to say, such conditioning has a devastating effect on self esteem.

 

Our perception of self is directly tied to self-esteem. Put another way, our self esteem comprises those voices inside of us that tell us who we are and how we feel about ourselves. People who are joyful, successful and fulfilled in their lives are those whose choices come from a spiritual center that generates positive self worth. Those who seem to make choices that dishonor and diminish them are ones who are operating out of a negative sense of self. It is important to highlight the word choice, because choice is the mechanism that consciously directs our actions and behaviors usually born out of some desire or intentionality for ourselves or others. Such a mechanism may not always be totally conscious and can be heavily influenced by our beliefs and by internalized messages that dictate self esteem. It is not easy for those of us who have been fed a steady diet of negative messages, to overwrite such deeply internalized inscriptions with positive affirmations that reflect a healthy and balanced sense of self.

 

As we become more aware of our choices, notice what the results are telling us. Experiences of joy, happiness and success are not accidental. They are created by the choices that we make in all aspects of our lives. Beware of those insidious inner voices that serve to berate the self and diminish the spirit. They are indeed learned scripts and must be rescripted through loving and affirming eyes as we face the mirror of our lives and begin looking deeper for the truth.